How to kick breakup in the ass!

For the past few weeks I have been putting up with two of friends nagging about their break up and how they are unable to deal with the whole situation.Well yes "two of my friends" because they were dating each other and I am the common one they have. (Sighhhh...life is difficult... I tell ya). 

Now to deal with both of them I have to think in two different ways and help them both out without spilling the beans elsewhere. (Darn m gonna have a big stomach digesting secrets).

I think one day I can really become a love guru because I have been there done that (like a several times) and also because my tips somehow very mysteriously turns out to be of great help to my friends. (I may sound like m bragging) haha.

So here are the break up RULES: 

1)Throw away memories- The first thing you gotta do is throw away all the gifts, card, letters if you have because it will force you to remember the times when you were together and make you cry even more.

2)BEST FRIENDS...my ass- Spare me the mumbo jumbo of "oh we're best friends now" who are you trying to fool? just yourself. You can't be best friends with ex's. Friends? Maybe,good Acquaintance? Possible, but Best friends?? I don't think so. You are only trying to prove that your the one who does not give a crap when you obviously do and that's why you wanna be with him or her to keep a close look at how happy or unhappy he or she is without you.

3)No sex with your ex:Control your hormones amigos/Amiga because sex with your ex ain't the best way of taking your revenge. It might be very interesting but trust me one of you will end up getting hurt again because as soon as the moment of pleasure ends, guilt will take over and you will end up feeling miserable. Sometimes you might get back together but then you know it's not gonna last long because things are going to turn sour again. There is no guarantee.

4) Work out and makeover: Okay I get it. Sometimes you wanna win your first love back. Emotions, affection, agitation, anger, drive, pride, rage starts kicking in. You wanna make the person feel that he or she has made a mistake by dumping you. Fair enough, but how do you do that? hmmm.... your sex appeal will help. Work out like crazy and get that ass and abs and flaunt it,make sure your ex is somewhere around or just put the damn picture on Facebook (who are you kidding? we all know that ex's stalk each other on Facebook so give them a little more reason to stalk and drool).

5)Find a rebound: A sexy rebound is a must in order to get over your ex. Well if your sexy yourself then you are bound to find a sexy rebound (wink). Make sure that the rebound does not know that your playing with "his" birth cannon, bobby danglers,doinkers or "her" hoo haas, fur pie, meat wallet,just for your own selfish reasons. Who knows your rebound might turn out to be "THE ONE". L.O.L (doesn't happen so easily coz the only quality a rebound retains is the physical attractiveness) and last but not the least....

6)Do not keep in touch- Try and keep out of touch for as long as you can, until you are very sure that you will feel nothing if you have him or her in front of your face. If possible just delete the number or changing your own sim card can be the best remedy because you know when your heart is anxious your hands get fidgety.  

Try and put in use these 6 tips and you will definitely kick breakup as well as your ex in the ass. No matter if your gay,straight or overweight. Rules are equal for everyone.

All the pictures have been taken by my friend Shilpa.