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Tuesday 6 May 2014

How to- gather memories of a DRUNKEN NIGHT!

Sighhhh.... who hasn't experienced this, we all have been in this situation at least once in our lives.  It's okay to get into such situations as long as it does not happen frequently (you should not let yourself become a slave of alcohol).

Drinking has become a part of the youth culture these days. They say that- It makes socializing more easy. Hmmmm...I bet it does!

Actually I do kinda believe in that. It does make socializing more easy and life more fun. Its a completely different thing that I have to retrace the memories of my nights a little too often...like every gosh darn week because (you know I am a drunkard and mostly found passed out next to a garbage bin on the street) I generally wake up in a strangers house, next to a stranger, with my knees and elbows hurting (wonder what I do), a massive hangover with blurred vision, with my clothes in different corners of the apartment and a half eaten burger on the bed (what part did the burger had to play in whatever the f**k happened?)

Oh Lord..... I only hope my mom does not read this post.... my dad on the other hand will definitely read this..........ppfffff.....

No dad please.... I am almost certain that I am STD free, I mean I think so , I guess I am 75% clean.....ummmmm.. alright I'll go and see a doctor tomorrow. 

Anyway, getting back to the point. How to gather memories of a drunken night:

  1. Surrounding- Wake up and check where the f*** you are. You could be on your own bed, your girlfriend's or boyfriend's bed, a strangers bed or maybe in someone's back yard. Whatever you do, do not panic. Wake up, sit up, check if you have all your belongings with you, your phone, wallet, money,house keys etc. Check if you are fully dressed or not, if not then you definitely had a fun night. Check if your clothes are ripped or stained, you could have gotten into a fight or something.
  2. Phone investigation- The second thing that you must do is, scroll down your phone, check the dialed list, messages, whatsapp messages. Maybe you sent texts to your ex who knows or maybe you have some explaining to do to your friends who you abused  in a fit of rage over the phone or maybe you just confessed your love to your all time crush. Check all the pictures and videos in your phone. Did you make any inappropriate videos?
  3. Credit card statement- Not only credit card statement but check your pockets for any kind of receipts that you have. Check how much did you spend and where the hell were you at that point of time. If you carry a credit card the God bless you. You might want to check if you have any open packs of condoms anywhere..... better safe than sorry ya? check your surroundings if there are any used ones.  Yikes! 
  4. What hurts- Check if there is any part of your body that hurts. You may have gotten into a fight or fallen over a fence or something. Check for bruises. You may have walked a really long way or mite have been bitten by a dog while you were trying to scale your ex girlfriend's garden fence and if you have a sore ass...then enjoy the limpy walk because that's gonna hurt real bad while you go and take a dump. So you gotta deal with it. Hey at least you know that the night was full of adventurous rides! 
  5. Social media check- Without wasting any more time check your Facebook and Twitter account to see if you have commented or posted anything regrettable. Check all your tags and mentions, go to your friends profile who you went out with and see if he or she has posted anything you would want to know about. 
  6. Friends reaction- Meet your friends later and see how they react. Do not trust them fully coz sometimes friends are assholes who tell lies just for their own amusement. Try talking to different people who you think would have been around you including your room mates. 

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